Now, for the most recent scare (s).
As I mentioned in a previous blog (Family Update), our middle daughter had a blood test abnormality at birth. After getting retested though, it turned out to be a false positive. So we moved on… until our third daughter’s blood showed the same abnormality. It didn’t make any sense. I was told that this abnormality is extremely rare, but why another positive? Is this test showing that there may be issues with our girls as they get older? Does this happen to everyone else who delivers here? Is this the worst, most unreliable test ever?! Luckily, once again, it turned out to be a false positive.
Fast forward to a few months later. Our little one had been doing so well. Hitting milestones long before her sisters and one of the most engaging tiny humans we have ever met. One day, I looked at her head and thought: “What the hell is that bump?” On the side of her head, it looked like her scalp was protruding out. Was it there all along? Did she bump it, and I didn’t realize? Is it a bite? Does she have a funny shaped head? To calm my nerves, I spoke with her pediatrician. She was perplexed. What on earth was it? She said it was *probably* nothing (my favorite line), but I should go to a neurologist, just in case.
So… on we go to the neurologist. But before we see the actual doctor, I have to make an appointment to see the nurse practitioner. She will surely tell us what is going on, right? Nope. “Um.. I don’t think this is anything? But it could be that she has fluid build-up inside her brain causing swelling. So let’s bring you back to meet with the doctor.” Perfect. So we broke our quarantine bubble another time just to be told we have to come back. Next… we wait again. An agonizing week of “WTF is wrong with this adorable human’s brain and skull?” Finally… we see the doctor. He looks at her head then says confused: “I don’t mean to be rude, but why are you here? This is her skull. How did you make it all the way to me?” I said “They said she could have fluid in her brain. Does she just have a funny shaped head?” My daughter is sitting there cooing and smiling at this masked man. And he said: “No? She has a perfect head? She is a perfect baby.” I left incredibly relieved and very frustrated.
Some people go through life never going to a specialist. We have been to like 5 for different and scary reasons. Are we alarmists? Perhaps. Are we super-observant parents? Definitely. Have we been through some experiences that make us more nervous than others? I think so.
We are so glad that in all of these circumstances, the results were that nothing was seriously wrong with any of our children. But how much time and energy have I spent going down the “what if” rabbit hole? What if something was wrong? I do have a shitty tendency to jump to worst-case scenarios rather than take things step by step. Luckily, I have a husband who is able to say “Let’s slow down and see what happens and go from there” when I am freaking out.
Will this be our last specialist? Who knows. We can only control what we can control. Until next time…